Stupid Snow

I officially hate the snow.

(Just to let you know>)

Utah Is Messed Up

Yes, you herd it here, Utah is messed up. I mean, what kind of self respecting state THIS HIGH in elevation has RAIN in JANUARY, as in the middle of WINTER!!!!!! ARG!!!!! Utah is sooo weird, January is supposed to be one of the coldest months of the year, and guess what it does!?!?! Yeah that's right it RAINS!?!?!?! What is wrong with this picture!!! When I eft for school today, instead of a snow/heavy winter coat i was wearing a RAIN COAT!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road??

A rant about why the chicken crossed the road. (between 2 people.)

A - Why did the chicken cross the road?

B - Who let out the chicken?

A - Huh??

B - I said Who let out the chicken?

A - You ruined the joke.

B - How? I'm seriously wondering who let out the chicken? Those things are expensive and they can get stolen or hit easily! And why would it want to cross the road in the first place? What is so exciting about the other side of the road that he wants to go over there so badly? What is wrong with the side of the road that he is on? Is he too good for this side of the road? Does he think he is better than all the other chickens? What is wrong with the other chickens? In fact how come there is only one chicken? Where are the others? I bet they got hit by cars trying to cross the road to get to the other side and died! Now this stupid chicken wants to give it a try! Why doesn't he just play it safe and stay on his side of the road? If he wants to get to the other side so badly why doesn't he find a cross walk and safely go a cross? Plus, why would he risk getting killed trying to cross the road, when he is perfectly safe on the side of the road he is on now? In my opinion, that is one stupid chicken!

A - ..................

So There Is A Rant About Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

(odd...I know)

The World According to Student Bloopers Part Uno

This was a really funny story that my English teacher gave us to read after a test (not for an assignment, just for fun!)

Richard Lederer

St. Paul's School

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is recieving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth-grade through college level. Read carefully, and you might learn alot.

The enhabitents of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitents have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites. Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at plating the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. Soloman, one of Davids sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the river Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in "The Iliad" by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity," in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because the peole took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Greeks. History call people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair. Julius Caesar exstinguished hiself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torturehis poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was canonized by George Bernard shaw. Finally, the Manga Carta provided no free man should be hanged teice for the same offense.

In mid-evil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shat an arrow through an apple while standin on his son's head.

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Marin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling paper indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenburg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Frances Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When Elizabethh exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted

"hurrah!" Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.

The greatest writer of the Renaissancee was William Shakespeare. Shakespeare never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In one of Shakespeare's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King b attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote." The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost." Then his wife died and he wrote "Paradise Regained."

End of The World According to Student Bloopers Part Uno

The Like Challenge

In my previous post, me and my friends decided not to say the word "like" anymore. (Except for when it's supposed to be used. When you say you like some one or something THE WORD that.)

So, back o the original point - I'm challenging YOU (the reader) to not say the word "like" for ONE DAY. See if you can do the Like Challenge.

The Word

So today at church, me and my friends Abby and Sammy were talking about the word like. the people of America use the word like way too much. (Well all the people I know and lots of other people probably do it too.) So, me & my friends dedcided to try and not say the word "like" for as long as possible.

IT IS SO HARD NOT TO SAY THE WORD "LIKE" IN A CONVERSATION!!!!

So instead of saying "like" you have to say something/anything else, but not the word "like". AND we renamed the word "like". Like is now called The Word.

Yeah, so now I'm tryin not to say "like" anymore. I'm a like-less girl.

2009!!!

Happy New Year!!!

Like An Ipod

I heard my Mom playing with H (Aunt M's youngest son) with a toy stethoscope. She was trying to get him to play with it and said, "Look! It's like an ipod for your heart!!

It Was Soooo Cute